Excerpts from an unskilled professional's life.
I aspire to be a photographer, artist, and musician.
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Everything I post is mine, unless stated otherwise.
I think my biggest mistake in life was forgetting the most basic rule: where there’s good there’s bad, and where there’s bad there’s good. Unfortunately, I believed that all people I was fond of were purely good, and those I had considered “evil”, were purely bad.
There are no bad people, only ugly sides. Never let people in.
Where do I find the real ones? I don’t know where to go, who to go to. I feel so alone. I feel scared. I’m surrounded by scorpions… Why do I have to live with these creatures? What the fuck did I cause to deserve this? Do I deserve it? Have the things I’ve done in my life conquered me? Put me in debt to the bad luck I’m supposed to have? I’m tired and out of breath. I barely have any conception of what’s going on. Yet, nobody tends to me. I am still going through infancy it seems, for I cannot grasp any real thoughts. Why can’t they just be honest? Everything that could hurt you is turned into a lie, how can you tell what’s true and what isn’t? What’s real and what isn’t? What if everything you know in your life about yourself is completely wrong due only to that. I don’t know what to think of myself.
I was dreaming. I spoke to a woman I did not know, and she told me she was a training college lecturer. (I am a teacher.) ‘Oh no! You’re a figment of my imagination,’ I declared, and reached out to grasp her arm. At this I felt the most tremendous sense of shock, which was the most vivid moment of the dream. She was so real, solid, warm and fleshy. I remember thinking that it was exactly like holding a living arm, and yet I knew I was dreaming the contact.
—Apparitions
NIGHTNIGHT by DEDDY
